[See, she is used to Ishmael letting it all out. The sailor lets her storms while Rodya bottles her own on the inside. Emotional management, even unhealthy methods, is part of how the Backstreets raised her and how she acts to this day. A spilt heart trying to hold itself together. So very fragile under all of those walls she created. Those walls have been cracking and falling apart that even some words will pierce their way through.

"You don't even know if you love him."

Like that. Something inside of her cracks.]

... the hell you are bringing him up for?

[This isn't a brush off or Rodya attempting to either endure the tidal wave or navigate away from it. There is a lot that she would say on the first part of Ishmael's rant, but something... really hit her harder than normal. Her gaze is empty yet sharp as she looks at Ishmael.]

Who named you the know-it-all on my feelings? You read a pamphlet about me or something? I don't even talk about him a lot to you, but to assume that I don't love him... Seriously?

[They do not have a normal, average relationship. They haven't said those words to each other, but there is still feelings there and nobody can say otherwise.]

What do you want me to do here? Do you want me to break up with him and join you in misery? Not happening. Just because you lost your boyfriend doesn't mean you should wish everyone else to go through what you did.

[This is going to make things worse between them, a rift that may never mend. She reached this point and now she's committed.]

You didn't just lose a lover, Ishmael. The rest of us lost a great friend. He was loved by many, not just you.

[She slowly stands up, her own dark look casting over her sharp eyes. She would let Ishmael vent it all out if she didn't bring in a guy who can't defend himself right now into her words. Normally, she would let these things pass, so why does it sting now? No, it always stung when people she loved get treated wrong, why is it so hard now? Maybe it does explain her feelings towards Yuwon. He makes her feel safe and comfortable yet he doesn't spoil her with gifts and affection because he's not that type. He has his flaws, but his charms persist. They aren't perfect, but he means so much to her that there are no words.

A moment of stinging cold silence and stilness is broken by her arm raising to point towards her door.]

Out.

[Is it her answer? Or is it only an answer?

A minute passes right after Ishmael walked out and closed the door before she simply sinks to the floor, letting this whole series of events sink deep into her. Her gaze becomes empty and numb as she pulls her legs towards her chest.

She should have said something, but would it really matter? Would Ishmael accept it or would she make the air worse? Should she have held back from expressing completely? She let out her fears and sorrow to Ishmael back then, but anger is another story. She's upset because she felt her feelings were questioned as if they are invalid unless they meet the approval of the eyes of others. Nobody wants to deal with a cold person and yet she is tired. So, so tired of trying to give a source of warmth to others yet her efforts give her little to no reward.

Opening her heart up is a mistake after all.]